First sample...

Not that I'm doing any editing/censoring/fixing this month, but as a volunteer at a nursing home, I'd really rather not mock old people. I didn't think this was over the line, but then I have no perspective.

"Joe, your mom called last night. She wanted you to call her back."
"What time did she call?"
"Mmmmm, let's see...it was during the beginning of Holy Grail, which I put on at 8, so a little after then."
"Why didn't you tell me last night?"
"Sorry. Forgot."
Although James said sorry, it didn't mean much to Joe, because James had done this before and he would likely do it again. In this case, it was difficult for Joe to build up the frustration necessary to properly chew out his roommate because he was actually glad he missed Mom's call. She was trying to pin him down for a family portrait. Joe's family took family portraits every January. His mother's rationale was that they would look younger for the Christmas card if they took the photo right after Christmas for the following December's card. That way, they could still take the traditional sleigh ride photo that they drove out 90 minutes into the country for. In a concession to the onset of her kids' adulthood, Joe's mom had done away with the summer family photo, but not without a closing barrage of guilt. "This isn't for me, you know. Your grandmother loves to see her grandchildren in the beach photo–you've seen how she's got every year's beach photo on the wall. But it's like trying to skin a toothless cat getting you kids together for this." One reason why the summer photo was the first to go was the wardrobe considerations that had to be arranged for. Mom was right about Grandma loving those beach photos. She was actually Joe's great-grandmother, and like Mom said, the back of her door at the nursing home was lined with beach photos. Conspicuously absent was the photo from 1987. Grandma had loudly and extendedly voiced her disapproval of that photo to poor Dad, who happened to be the one to answer his grandmother-in-law's irate phone call. Apparently, she disapproved of the male nipples exposed in the photo. Inexplicably, the offensive pink regions were still on display from 1986 and earlier. In 1988, Mom had asked Joe and his brother to wear their t-shirts in the photo. Grandma complained that "you can hardly tell you're even at the beach" despite the cresting waves and sea gulls in the background. Joe had suggested including a Portuguese Man o' War tentacle as proof of the beach's veracity, a comment for which he was grounded for a night. From 1989-1996, the beach photo was taken with Joe and his brother wearing old timey men's swim tops. Their sister had copies to be used for blackmail purposes. She had been able to wear whatever she wanted in the photos, because Grandma inevitably would ask, upon receiving the photo, who the stranger was who made her was into the photo, and why Joe's dad allowed that to happen.
"That's Carrie, Grandma," Joe's mom would reply from the script.
"No, it's not. The girl in the photo is thin."
Carrie was not, by any means, overweight, in photos or in real life.
"Next time, have a professional take the photo."
"We will, Grandma."